Hundreds Of Years Of Fairy Tales Have Harmed Women With Jane Gilmore

Fairy tales have harmed women for centuries. Fairy tales often vilify women’s anger, undermine their pursuit of financial independence, and set unrealistic expectations. These biases shift the focus from abusers to women, making them see themselves as the problem. Join Anne Blythe, M.Ed, Host and Jane Gillmore as they discuss misogyny and fairy tales.



If you relate to any of this episode, attend a Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group Session TODAY. (https://www.btr.org/group/)

Fairy Tales Harmed Women: Vilification of Women’s Anger



Society often labels women’s anger as overreacting, in stark contrast to men’s anger, which is seen as justified. This double standard shifts the focus from the abusers to the women, conditioning them to see themselves as the problem, rather than addressing the root cause of their frustration.



Of course, women will be angry if they’re oppressed and abused! To discover if you’re emotionally abused, take this free emotional abuse quiz (https://help.btr.org/free-emotional-abuse-test-for-women/) .


Fairy Tales Have Harmed Women: Financial Independence Double Standard



Women are often condemned for seeking financial independence, a desire celebrated in men. This contradiction highlights the gender bias in societal expectations, undermining women’s right to financial security and autonomy.



The expectation for women to set boundaries calmly is unrealistic and unfair. It parallels the absurdity of asking women to call the police without anger if they witness a crime, illustrating how these societal scripts demand unrealistic levels of composure from women, even in distressing situations.

Fairy Tales harm Women by Normalizing Misogyny



Stories like “Beauty and the Beast” perpetuate misogynistic tropes by suggesting that men need women to become better people. This harmful narrative places undue responsibility on women for men’s behavior and personal growth. Which reinforces gender roles that confine women to supportive and transformative roles. Without considering their own needs for autonomy and respect.


Transcript: How Fairy Tales Have Harmed Women



Anne: I have Jane Gilmore on today’s episode. Jane is a writer, speaker, and feminist, and you can find her at janegilmore.com. Welcome Jane.



Jane: Thank you. And it’s so lovely to be here.



Anne: I love talking to you. Jane is on today to talk about her new book, Fairy Tale Princesses Will Kill Your Children (https://a.co/d/482ysKH) . The Little Mermaid is a personal nemesis. So I wanted her to talk about this new book and how it can help all women who are going through abuse recognize it, set boundaries and get to safety. So let’s start, Jane, with what gave you the idea that this book needed to be written?



Jane: Well, I’m living in Melbourne, and we had such a long lockdown during the first part of COVID. Like, basically two years we were in and out of lockdown. And you start going into weird places when you’re at home that long. I haven’t paid much attention to fairy tales since I was a kid. For some reason, I watched the Snow White movie on the Disney Channel. I was horrified.



This is a children’s movie, mostly aimed at little girls, and the misogyny in it was so deep, but it was more than that. It was this idealization of women being not just helpless and submissive, but actively participating in other people abusing them. And I was thinking, oh, this is just because it’s old. This is not what they’re like.




So I started looking into them and the five stories I chose for this book, which I retold. Along with an essay about why, were Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast and The Little Mermaid. I show how fairy tales have harmed women.

Themes In Fairy Tales



Jane: And when I started looking into them, it was so clear that Snow White was about making other women the enemy, not men. Sleeping Beauty is obviously about consent. Cinderella is about women’s unpaid labor that we are supposed to do, not just uncomplaining, but enjoying our manipulation to serve mostly men. The Little Mermaid is about staying silent in the face of somebody, constantly diminishing you.



Beauty and the Beast is coercive control. If you love him enough, he will turn into your handsome prince. This angry, dangerous, violent man just needs you to love him more. And if he doesn’t turn into your handsome prince, it’s your fault for not trying harder. And that’s what these fairy tales are about.



They’re telling little girls that the way to be a good woman, a proper woman, a fairy tale princess that the defining characteristic is what they call unselfish. Which is to not ask anything for yourself, to not think that you deserve respect, kindness, agency, or money. That to even ask for those things, to even want those things, even if you don’t ask for them, makes you morally culpable.




And you don’t see it when you first look at it because, Oh, aren’t they pretty? They get the handsome prince and ever...